how evil Lexa ends up going to Chabad
So since like May/June, I've been on this Judaism thing. I don't know if it's a fad, a phase, or a return to my path. All I know is baking challah from scratch is some bullshit. Several months ago, probably June/July I spoke with Rabbi Mo from Temple Micah. I liked their website and they were closest of the three Reform congregations, nothing against the other two. I had their schedule off the internet and would make plans to go then chicken out. Nothing against the Rabbi, but I didn't know where I was going, what I was supposed to do when I get there, who to talk to, or even if I would be welcome. I had some Social Anxiety years ago, and while my brain chemistry seems to have corrected itself, I would rather crush my hand in a car door than be lost and embarassed. Sad, but very very true.
So I stopped celebrating Shabbat. And I feel that's really sad because I liked it. I would clean my house and have everything ready. It felt like actual rest and fun, even though nobody ever came over and I never had Shabbat at anyone else's house. But like I said, discouraged and angry... no more Shabbat. My house is a fucking mess! And I'm tired! Sometimes I'd read a little more in one of my books, but I found that I spent more time online. I'm insanely curious so I'd read things online as they interested me. I spent like 4 hours on an Orthodox women's site one time. I now know way more about family purity (modesty, niddahs and mikvahs) than I ever thought I would. Then I'd hang out on wikipedia, because I love wikipedia. So I guess I was still fulfilling the mitzvah of learning about the Torah if not the Torah itself. Anyway, I felt that everytime I got a little drive to go to a service, something would happen to block that.
So sometime last weekend I started in on more internet reading. Then I decided around Sunday that I was going to read the Parshah (it seems to mean the section of Torah that everyone is on). But it doesn't have an explanation with it so I wasn't sure if I was supposed to read it on Shabbat or before (oh, the things that non-jews don't know). Monday morning I went to work and decided to just read it. It was a whole section about Noah. I think it'd be better if there were maps and diagrams because it was boring and confusing at the same time. So then I tried to find someone to help with Torah study. You know, like fuck an actual worship service; I just want my questions answered.
So I search the internet and search. NOTHING showing close. Finally in desperation I called a Chabad House. They are crazy Orthodox people, so I was afraid to call. They are very anti-conversion and only want Gentiles to abide by the 7 Noahide Laws (like abbreviated 10 commandments). But everything on the internet indicated that if there existed some place close to me the Chabad Rabbi would know it. They're good with clearinghouse of information type stuff apparently. I had to leave a voicemail for Rabbi Mintz.
That Rabbi called today. Luckily, I was on late lunch and answered the phone even though it wasn't the Chabad house number (I programmed it into my phone so I'd know it was him calling). I think he had a Jewish accent. It's weird because I've talked to two of them now (rabbis) and they don't sound like slow wise learned men, instead like busy (but) caring (yet totally) disorganized guys sort of. They don't sound like I expected. I explained to Rabbi Mintz what I was looking for because he didn't understand my message. Then he started racking his brain trying to think of a place close to me. I could like totally picture him scrunching up his face while thinking.
He thought of Washington Park Jewish Center. I called the number he gave me. Some guy said "hello". And I just blurted out a whole bunch of shit. I thought about it later and realized Rabbi Mintz may have NOT given me an office number so I bet I surprised someone. I don't know who I talked to. But he told me where they were and said that we study Torah after Shabbat service on Saturday. But he didn't give me the times. Then, just like Rabbi Mintz, he asked my Jewish background. The rabbi didn't scare me because I thought 'hey, you chabad people may not like goyim, but I'm just calling for somebody else's number not yours.' So the other guy asked too and I said "actually I'm not a Jew (pause) um, is that a problem (laughing)?" He said it was fine, but didn't mention anything else like "oh, nasty pork-eating barbarians are welcome, too, just don't breathe on anyone". So I gave him my email address and hung up.
Coming back to work, I immediately looked them up. OH MY G-D! They're crazy racist (if Jews can be considered a race) chabad people, too! So I wavered for all of 10 minutes maybe. Then I got my strength back. I have just as much right as any other of Noah's Kids to study the Torah. I want to know what it says and what it means and I have the right to not have to listen to Christians break it down. Of course, now I don't know what to wear since these are the people who don't touch their wives for half the month. I wonder if they shake hands. Matisyahu doesn't shake hands with women and I think they are the same type of people. Why can't any modern, slightly G-dless Jews be close?
I have 2 pages of questions for the rabbi so far. When Rabbi Mintz gave me the information for the center close to me I thought he said they had a Rabbi Sarah Branski. I thought, 'oh a woman, that'll be great'. It's Rabbi Yossi Serebryanski and he's a man, baby. What have I got myself into?
Oh well, I have to admit that the men ARE cute in their little black hats.
So I stopped celebrating Shabbat. And I feel that's really sad because I liked it. I would clean my house and have everything ready. It felt like actual rest and fun, even though nobody ever came over and I never had Shabbat at anyone else's house. But like I said, discouraged and angry... no more Shabbat. My house is a fucking mess! And I'm tired! Sometimes I'd read a little more in one of my books, but I found that I spent more time online. I'm insanely curious so I'd read things online as they interested me. I spent like 4 hours on an Orthodox women's site one time. I now know way more about family purity (modesty, niddahs and mikvahs) than I ever thought I would. Then I'd hang out on wikipedia, because I love wikipedia. So I guess I was still fulfilling the mitzvah of learning about the Torah if not the Torah itself. Anyway, I felt that everytime I got a little drive to go to a service, something would happen to block that.
So sometime last weekend I started in on more internet reading. Then I decided around Sunday that I was going to read the Parshah (it seems to mean the section of Torah that everyone is on). But it doesn't have an explanation with it so I wasn't sure if I was supposed to read it on Shabbat or before (oh, the things that non-jews don't know). Monday morning I went to work and decided to just read it. It was a whole section about Noah. I think it'd be better if there were maps and diagrams because it was boring and confusing at the same time. So then I tried to find someone to help with Torah study. You know, like fuck an actual worship service; I just want my questions answered.
So I search the internet and search. NOTHING showing close. Finally in desperation I called a Chabad House. They are crazy Orthodox people, so I was afraid to call. They are very anti-conversion and only want Gentiles to abide by the 7 Noahide Laws (like abbreviated 10 commandments). But everything on the internet indicated that if there existed some place close to me the Chabad Rabbi would know it. They're good with clearinghouse of information type stuff apparently. I had to leave a voicemail for Rabbi Mintz.
That Rabbi called today. Luckily, I was on late lunch and answered the phone even though it wasn't the Chabad house number (I programmed it into my phone so I'd know it was him calling). I think he had a Jewish accent. It's weird because I've talked to two of them now (rabbis) and they don't sound like slow wise learned men, instead like busy (but) caring (yet totally) disorganized guys sort of. They don't sound like I expected. I explained to Rabbi Mintz what I was looking for because he didn't understand my message. Then he started racking his brain trying to think of a place close to me. I could like totally picture him scrunching up his face while thinking.
He thought of Washington Park Jewish Center. I called the number he gave me. Some guy said "hello". And I just blurted out a whole bunch of shit. I thought about it later and realized Rabbi Mintz may have NOT given me an office number so I bet I surprised someone. I don't know who I talked to. But he told me where they were and said that we study Torah after Shabbat service on Saturday. But he didn't give me the times. Then, just like Rabbi Mintz, he asked my Jewish background. The rabbi didn't scare me because I thought 'hey, you chabad people may not like goyim, but I'm just calling for somebody else's number not yours.' So the other guy asked too and I said "actually I'm not a Jew (pause) um, is that a problem (laughing)?" He said it was fine, but didn't mention anything else like "oh, nasty pork-eating barbarians are welcome, too, just don't breathe on anyone". So I gave him my email address and hung up.
Coming back to work, I immediately looked them up. OH MY G-D! They're crazy racist (if Jews can be considered a race) chabad people, too! So I wavered for all of 10 minutes maybe. Then I got my strength back. I have just as much right as any other of Noah's Kids to study the Torah. I want to know what it says and what it means and I have the right to not have to listen to Christians break it down. Of course, now I don't know what to wear since these are the people who don't touch their wives for half the month. I wonder if they shake hands. Matisyahu doesn't shake hands with women and I think they are the same type of people. Why can't any modern, slightly G-dless Jews be close?
I have 2 pages of questions for the rabbi so far. When Rabbi Mintz gave me the information for the center close to me I thought he said they had a Rabbi Sarah Branski. I thought, 'oh a woman, that'll be great'. It's Rabbi Yossi Serebryanski and he's a man, baby. What have I got myself into?
Oh well, I have to admit that the men ARE cute in their little black hats.
posted by Lexa at 4:32 PM
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