Desk

Nice, eh?

update

I'm back on meds after over 2 years off of them. Oh, well. But my desk/cubicle is looking good!

Then I stepped on my kiddush cup this am & broke it.

Step 5

Lay out, & enjoy, a feast.

Step 4

Light some candles, pour some wine.

Step 3

Burn challah, but be thankful I didnt burn down my bldg.

Step 2

Put challah in oven & run to store for rest of dinner.

Step 1

Put frozen challah in greased pan & wait for rise.

Was exhausted last night & slept thru temple service this am. Decided to celebrate today.

Note to self: lose some weight before rubbing thighs & hot weather cause rash.

why nonkosher food is okay

A very sloppy essay by Lexa

When people were in Eden, well those two people (Adam and Eve)... And bare in mind that I'm just barely accepting intelligent design and that whole genesis story. Anyway, those two were kids. I mean, they got adult bodies as some point, but spiritually they were kids. Then their descendants were kids, too. They didn't know any better and had to be watched and guided through everything.

Finally we got Abraham. He did a bunch of God-related things that I haven't really studied up on yet. But apparantly around his time, people became spiritual teens. We knew some stuff and were becoming more autonomous, but still should've been listening to our parent, God. "He" or "She" doesn't matter so "father" or "mother" are both okay terms. Then there was the whole Mt Sinai 10 Commandments thing and some prophets and fleeing Egypt and all that. She, the big She, taught us tons of stuff getting us ready for graduation and adulthood. And not just taught Jews either, that stuff was and is for everybody.

Then like, no more prophets. We grew up! The scene was this:

Humankind is standing in the living room of our very first apartment and God(dess) is smiling kindly. She kisses us on the cheek and says "just remember everything I taught you and you'll be fine". Then She totally walks out, closes the door and laughs Her divine ass off because SHe so has a sense of humor. She peeks in the windows every now and then, but doesn't do too much interferring. Dude, we're grown up! We already know everything we need to know to live great lives and be good people. We are now closer to God in that we have the ability to judge and control ourselves, which before was only a divine trait. Let's be happy to have acheived so much!

Now, we're still young, so there's bound to be some... adjusting. Look, we may end up eating ramen for dinner and the lights may be shut off once or twice, but we so totally can do this. We'll be okay. Maybe even more than okay; fantastic is great to aim for.

All of this is related to my title. The last time God really came down saying "do this" "do that", we were teens. Think about it...

"Be home by 10p!" Why? Because when you're 16 years old you may think you know everything, but your parents know that you don't so they made this rule. You're retarded at 16 years old and so do not know how to act outside, running around the city at 10:05 at night. Plus you get all cranky and don't want to go to school the next morning if you don't get enough sleep. So now, you're 22 years old (or 28 or 46 or 73); do you still have to come home (your own home that you paid for) at 10p?

"No dessert until you eat your vegetables!" Why? Because you were growing and they make you stronger. And you didn't understand things like vitamin defiencencies and stunted growth and your teeth falling out from scurvy. But now you do, right? So maybe as an adult you can decide for yourself if you'd rather eat broccoli or take a vitamin pill and risk losing your health.

God told us everything we need to know to live great lives and be good people. We learned kosher when we were teens, along with 612 other mitzvot. Hmm, what to do? I'm not saying that getting home early or eating vegetables are bad things. Just bare in mind that we were still teens when She said that stuff.

The End (for now)

temple

Rabbi Mo (Morris actually from Temple Micah) called me back. He says "just come to one of our services". Who's going with me because I am so not going alone? For real, who's going with me?

Shabbat Shalom!

OMG! Its my 1st Shabbat & look at my amazing challah. Well, Im amazed anyway.

Aloha!

Isnt he darling?

Murder is bad, so I'm on break.

225a

Im awake, again not still. But the cat is asleep.

Favorite Things

This is to aid in the task of assembling a holographic Lexa after the deaths of 99.9% of the human population.

Extinct Animal: Moa, which humans managed to drive to extinction by walking along the forest floor and gathering their ginormous eggs to make into huge fucking omelets

Flower: Calla Lily, it's pretty

Infectious Disease: Leprosy, I think it's amazing that 95% of all humans are just naturally immune and people still get scared of it

Rimmer

How much longer do I have to write until a supergenius computer knows enough about me to create a holographic program based on my personality? You know, a la Arnold Rimmer from Red Dwarf. And who would I be keeping company?










(This question has actually plagued me for years ever since 1995 and a diary I kept in high school.)

update

* I'm in love with Greg House, MD
* I've decided to convert to Judaism
* I now have direct deposit on my paycheck
* My building manager has arranged for me to have carpet steam cleaning after 9 years of occupancy
* I'm an aunt again for the 3 time (yeah, she's totally cutting into my allotment of kids, the bitch)
* I think I have developed new treatment protocols for symptomatic rabies
* I slept in my bathtub last night